We basically follow the documentation here: https://tome.fyi/docs/hosting/hosted-drupal-netlify/

When you run composer require and you get an error like 
Could not find a version of package drupal/tome_netlify matching your minimum-stability (stable). Require it with an explicit version constraint allowing its desired stability.  then you can use a command like this:
lando composer require drupal/tome drupal/tome_netlify:1.x-dev drupal/tome_netlify_contact:1.x-dev

This will be a series of blog posts how you can set up your own private website with Drupal - easily and without much effort.

We use pantheon.io as host. Pantheon is free for two sandboxes - we don't need more. With pantheon we get a way to update Drupal easily (without having to know composer) and we get a repository and even develop, stage and productive environments.